Journey part 1:The wall to the office

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11-12
This is a long  bare with me it will be worth it. We all are on a Journey and we all are at different places in our Journey, but for today I am going to share a little of my Journey that has so shaped where I am at today. It started when I was 17. I had dabbled in faith I always had a desire to be great and to do good. I was not sold out I participated, I was a "fan" an admirerer I did not always fully engaged. Then something caught my heart I decided it was time. I had to go all in or I should turn my back and go the other direction. I did not know where to start.. I was not qualified and I did not know what I truly had to offer. There was one thing I had a heart for people. I love people, almost to the point of where it is overwhelming. I so enjoy relationships. Plus I  for the most part was good at it. So i figured I would start there.  I was loving life I was alive and other people were taking notice.  I decided I was going to take legitimate interest in peoples lives and I was not going to take "fine" or "good" for an answer. I went deep I prayed behind close doors and I poured out in every way that a 17 year old boy knows how. There are season of friendships I know that and I know I will never turly understand the impact those friendships can have. I will never get to see the whole picture there. But  I know in some of them there was a seed planted and I pray to this day someone helps waters and cultivate that seed.  There was always one that stuck out. When I mean stuck out i not not mean the friendship itself. At the time there was nothing special about it no oneelse would have noticed a difference. Few people even knew what was truly going on.  You know when people say they hear from God? Call it what you want but I knew God had a plan for me in this girls life. I saw a heart that was passionate but a heart that was also misplaced, I saw a heart that would dive in but a heart that was misguided,. Oh I knew, this girl would change the world and God was not about to let me forget it. There would be times I would be in school or with friends or whatever it might have been and I heard pray. I had to pray, why? because often the thought was so loud it was like cymbals going off in my head. I could not concentrate until I would listen either praying, sending her a short email or whatever it might be. Even if at times it had been a year since we truly had connected. It did not matter because my Journey was taking shape.

Fast-forward five years . I like to call it  "the wall". I am sitting in a Church where I had begun another new transition in my life. The church was under renovation and at the end of the service the Pastor challenged us to think of some names that over the next year we would pray for, that we would try to encourage and that we would walk with. I laughed I did not need to think at all I knew my names and it was loud and clear , what i was being challenged to do. I had ventured off the path a little bit and I became a spectator. I yet again needed to be all in I did not know why but this decidion was crucial. It was loud clanging cymbals loud, I did not understand it and to be honest I don't think I wanted to. We may say we want to know the end product or see where are steps lead, but  I often fear that. I fear it not in a bad way but because I know sometiems it is so far beyond me that I could not comprhend how it would get there that I am sure I would not take the steps. I got  up and I marched to the wall and I put those names in the wall, knowing Lives would change knowing this was crucial. There became almost a sense of urgency, a sesnse of desperation. I prayed and I prayed and prayed some more every day, several times a day.

I know this is long bear with me, it is a story that so has shaped me and continues to shape me. Fast forward roughly another five years. The girl is in Church ya that church the same Church. She had been going there for a few months now I had not , why? well we do not have time for . We reconnected and this girls heart had changed God was doing work in her heart.  She had found hope, she might not understand it or at the time even grasp it but she now had hope. The steps to the "office" had begun. We end up at a conference Global Leadership conference via satellite. Lets just say this girl woke up. I mean on fire passionate, All in< call it what you want there was no stopping this girl. She had big dreams and wild imagination for what God wanted to do and was going to do. A refreshing unbridaled passion for the Lord and I had the privilege to walk right beside her. To fight for injustices, to battle for those who were uncapable of doing the same for themselves and to Love in a way only God can give you. She has flourished and continues to grow. Needless to say she now works in the office. Ya THE office of that Church. the Church where years ago her n ame was put in the wall. From the Wall to the office.  We all are on a journey and God has a plan. We often swirve off the road or stray away, but if we truly even try to enter into the story into Gods Journey for our lives we wont miss the mark. You can't it gets to Louud. Sure we can shut it off but then you gave up you didn;t miss the mark you chose not to walk. Respond to the calling , respond to your :cymbals"  Look for part 2 coming shortly on how this affected my life and my journy in a whole different way.

Sweetly broken

So tonight my world got rocked but before I get into that let me give a little background. The last several weeks I have been striving to find what is next. Searching for that next step. Every opportunity I get I am meeting with others to gain knowledge and sticking my knows in a book to soak it all up. It has been a real teip. A new sense of peace, calmness joy and even genuine curiousity has came over my life. I really feel God tugging my heart to be mindful of those places where he wants to speak and where he wants to move mountains.I know there are places i need to get better and as I mature so has my desire for a deeper greatness in these places. So today my wife and I are running some errands and discussing some things and before I kmow it i am upset. I do not show it at first but it was brewing. Oir discussion quickly turned into an argument. I was heated and the door slammed i finished my errand . I entered into the car knowing ai couldnt take any of it back I felt shamed and emberrased. I said an apology and it was not recieved and oh boy did ai lose it. Ya it will cost me a new windshield. But tonight something beautiful happened. Beautiful? How can that be. Well one if the areas I have been working on is anger and shame. Ya obviously o failed miserably and fell so short andcyes a do over would be great. But there is progress steps are being made and I am growing. Even the process of repentance and moving forward and just dropping it right there. Not letting it consume me to yhe point where rage shame just takes over. No I will mot let it win. True growth happens in the orocess.See i think i should be at a certain place but I never make it there. Rwality is I cant make it therebecause as I grow and mature so does my desire for greatness. When I dont take joy in the process I get bitter, jealous and angry. Tonight I saw myself for who and what I am sweetly broken. I am fallen, I am broken and I am wounded but I am redeemed. It is in that redemption we find to strength. It is in those struggles we can stand firm in the truth that we are redeemed by Christ and nothing will take that away. Yes tonight my world was rocked for tonight I found JOY oin the process.

Light in a dark world

"So do not let someone tell you the facts of why something cannot be done. Do not try to convince yourself that you are not strong or are incapable. Stand up for what you believe in and what your divine purpose is. No one deserves to walk through life wandering, being treated like they don't matter, or being tossed around and picked up whenever someone decides to. Find it within you...find God. There, you will find peace, strength, great-grace, hope, unending love, and a happiness that cannot be explained" A dear friend wrote this awhile ago I have read it several times and every time it gets my blood boiling and gets me fired up. We all have a story and every story includes miracles along the way. For many of us our story in itself is a miracle. So many of us feel beat down, tired, worn out and some of us quite frankly are ready to wave the white flag of surrender. I beg you don't.

    We have been given far to much and we are far to skilled to not fight the resistance. Some of us are going to have to dig deeper then others, but we all have hope. In a world that seems so hopeless the simplest and smallest of acts can revive our soul. It seems everywhere you look there is so much brokenness and pain well that is unavoidable. Lean on the rock and build yourself the foundation you need to weather even the toughest of storms. Stand firm in the Truth that God alone is our hope and Jesus is our salvation. Where do we begin? I am in a hole that I cannot see light so surely I cannot climb out of it. Take a step however small it may feel, take a step in the opposite direction of the darkest parts of your life. Step away from the parts of your life that brings only death to your hope and dreams. Bring Joy to others, LOVE on others and often every day your own steps will get easier. We all have so many opportunities to create hope not only in our own life but in others lives...the two usually go hand in hand. Suprise a friend at work with their favorite candy, write someone a hand written note, shoot someone an encouraging text, let someone know why you appreciate them, initiate an hour to spend togethereven if it is a just a walk. All I am saying is we can do this nothing is to small. So today take a step! You are never alone. Today you "fight the resistance".

The Battle: Goodness to GRACE

Isaiah 59:4 NIV No one calls for justice; no one pleads a case with integrity. They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies; they conceive trouble and give birth to evil........I think I am slowly start to get it. We are not Good people I am not a good person. Nor will I ever be at least not here with this fleshly body. We sin and we cannot get away from it it is in our very nature. I am not saying we are condemned because that is not the case. Well at least if we accepted Christ into our hearts and made him Lord of our lives. We fall and we fall often but what will we do with our failures? Will we choose to be condemned? Will we strive for perfection so we measure up to our own ideals and measuring sticks of religion and morals. Or will we accept GRACE for what it is. A bridge a gap between fallen man and perfection. Our Jesus bore our sins became sins in the flesh, carried our weight and conquered them. Jesus doesn't see filth and dirt when he looks at us. No our sins have been forgiven and atoned for. He sees a holy and blameless disciple, he sees beauty that is what we are. What will we do with our GRACE? Some will keep sinning and take advantage of it, but did they truly ever accept it in the first place? Will we allow ourselves to be fueled by the PERFECT most amazing gift any of us have ever received. Will we allow ourselves in gratitude and thanksgiving strive to know Christ better, strive to be Christ like. Not out if duty or "have to"share mentality, but rather in response to a perfect love a LOVE we can only experience in Christ. Then and only then will our fountain totally flow freely. Then and only then can we consider all things JOY. We have a choice will you make the right one?

Honor: quit licking your wounds

"If you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord" i cant get past this. Why are we all so selfish? We try hard then we try harder things get hard usually because we try to do it on our own. we get strong in our own mind so we do "us" our way and then we fail so we crawl back To Jesus, fall back in his arms let him surround us, accept the Grace. We gain strength and do it all over again. Like a dog we just keep licking the same wounds so they never truly heal. we control things ourselves and wonder why we cannot change. We blame God for the consequences that fall upon us. We wonder why we cannot "feel right". The emotions go hay wire and we start to feel guilty. So we throw ourselves into something else to cover up the new found emptiness. We wonder how we got there when days ago we felt so close. For awhile now we have ben doing all the right thingns, doing all the things we think we should be, but yet we feel distant. what happened? Does not our GOD deserve better? How do we always make it about us? We always have good intentions but along the way it gets tweeked and our flesh takes over again. We neglect to daily prepare ourselves and protect ourselves and the ones around us. We neglect to admit the power of the evil aorund us and the strength of the great deciever. He is cunning, clever, brilliant and destructive but yet we go about our lives daily as if he is not there. We cannot afford it. WE NEED JESUS and that is found in the word, in prayer, in selflessness, sacrafice and servant hood that is our hope. Not because we have to because we get to because at the end of it thats all we really have.

To strong for help, to weak to try

I am starting to realize in this world so many of us hate to ask for help. I do not know if it is because of how we are brought up, or if there is some tramatic experience or just a relationship gone bad. I know one thing it does not get any easier. I know that you find yourself stacking up what you have done for them lately so today it is probably okay to ask. I know this starts to weigh on you and it eventually sucks life out of things. Why is it so hard? Why when we even think about asking do we bombard our own mind with ridiculous thoughts and question that are not even remotely close to true. Why do we tell ourselves that it is weakness? In this regard we are our own worst enemy.

I also am not naieve enough to think that there is not another end of the sepctrum. There are several people in this world that they are just lazy the turth is they dont want help because they dont want to help. They dont want anything todo with something outside themselves. They hide behind other peoples excuses in their own lives hoping it wont be notice or you will pat htem on the back and tell them it is okay. The truth in the matter is they are just working the system and everyone around them. What emptiness what pain.

Tonight I got to experience this full circle in more ways then one. Tonight I realized in a new light that we cant do it on our own. We were not designed to. It is not weak to ask for help or to need help. It is not strength to do it on our own. So what then is it all about? It is about carrying burdens and bridging the gap for those you love. Playing your part in the friendships. Sometimes that even means you wont want to but you just do it. Why because some day you will need help? This might be one benefit yes but if that is the only reason trust me, it will lead to emptiness. So others see it? People pleasing is so draining and so not fun at all in fact it  sucks because eventually when others dont meet up to the standards and htey wont then you are lonely as ever. Really it is simple it is just what friends do. It is that easy it shows love it becaomes something you not only want to do but you need to do. Not to prove your friendship but because that is what Love does it bridges gaps. One day it might be late night talk when you are to tired to think, another slaving away in the heat, another trip across town when you thought you got to relax, another chasing around screaming children. See it is not that they are weak or that we are weak it is just sometimes you need someone to bridge the gap, give you extra set of hands, or  whatever it may be.

True friendship knows the needs and true friendship shows others that not only do you want to help that it is okay to admit it. True friendship does not expect anyting in return but you know it will be there because your firendship is built on REAL love. True firendship does more then serve tehy allow others to serve them. True friendship it jsut becomes another way to thank them for being who they are and another way to Glorfiy God for who you both are becoming. It is not weakness to ask for help but listen, listen if you wlak away from one thing and only one thing know this true weakness is trying to do it alone. Will you let others bridge the gap? Are you brdiing the Gap with other? What it comes down to is we all need to do what we can physically, mentally and Spiritually put forth 100 percent. After that it is out of your hands then the gap must be bridged and god shows up and often times through others. Be the Hope.

that excuse just wont cut it anymore

Today has been an interesting day no doubt. It was a day filled with suprises some good some bad, some that brought Joy and some thought brought pain and to be honest tears. Late night and I find myself putting the neccesary close on to take a walk in the pouring rain. I needed to think, I needed to clear my head and I needed to reflect. The more I started to think the thought "but they" or "but I" I realized that excuses just won't cut it anymore. It isn't big enough, deep enoigh or near strong enough.
That excuse just won't cut it anymore because I along with so many of you have made the decision to follow Christ and give our life to him. We made the commitment to pick up our cross and follow where HE leads. It starts with one the realization that we screw up all the time but we have been. Biedeemed which we know but we do not take the propper steps every single day. Next we made the commitment to give our LIFE to Christ. Which sometimes means even when we pour ourselves out like never before and do not get the return we think we should,or we deserve. I am not talking about selfishness here I am talking about the times when these feelings or thoughts are justified. The thing is though Jesus pain on the cross was not justified he was the ultimate example the ultimate sacrafice. He did it to redeem our stories to redeem the world so we could again bring glory to God. So what I am saying is Love deeper, Love better, Love stronger and do it because eventually Glory will point to God. See Love wins Love always wins. Keep loving in a Christ like selfless way and it eventually will always win and point to the cross. That is what this is all about that excuse just wont cut it anymore. In reality no excuse will cut it anymore to give up or to throw in the towell, or to wine and complain. ZBe bigger better and stronger through the Spirit love in a supernatural way.

My own worst enemy

Things the last several months have been just out of this world for me God was doing so many and still continues to do so many things in my life.  I continued to dive in everyday seek him read the word, pray for others and so and and so on. I suddenly felt things slipping and felt things going the other way and I had no idea why. I know life is not perfect and I know things will  always "fall apart" . I realized though I was lacking some things the core heart of the issue was me, I was my own worst enemy.  There were things I was missing hte point even though i was working towards that area I thought that was good enough. I was taking obedience true obedience for granted. Partial obedience is disobedience. God did not call me to work towards those things but to DO it. It isn't about me or my pace how i want to do it. It is about what God called us to and that is radical obedience. I let that disobedience seep in andthuse there was no true repentance. Where there is no repentance we cut ourselves off with true intimacy with God. My time spent with him then was in his presence but I was unable to expereince the TRUE intimacy, that he desires with us. I was literally my own worse enemy there is ntohing anyone else or any circumstances that could have made it better or worse. it was all on me. I am excited today to stand before my God and just confess and humble myself. How great our creater our redeemer our lover and friend is. Our you your own worst enemy?

Dragons and Rainbows: child like faith

Luke 18:17 "truly I tell you, anyone who will not reeive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it" . Powerful, bold, and someitmes a little frightening if we are honest. Why because it seems so vague so broad and it doesnt describe what that means. I have been blessed over the last several months to be surrounded by kids that I love, even though none of them our mine. As i seek gods face deeper and deeper I wonder how I can continue to enter in a faith that daily draws me closer and closer to him. Then this verse continues to smack me in the face.

I am reminded of a story that Erwin Mcmanus tells in the barbarian way. His son is on the porch roof he had crawled out there the mom is obviously freaking out lol. The boy yells "dad should I jump?" Erwin says "ya go for it". The kid acts like he is gonna jump sizes it up. Asks "dad do you really think I should jump?" Erwin says "why not". Needless to say the boy jumps off the roof into his arms. That is where it starts!

Child like faith! Faith like a child starts with being fearless, if if if, your father tells you to, you know you can do anyting. As we grow up we get beat down one we either stop hearing what he tells us to, or we are so buckled with fear we cant do it anyways. Faith like a child has imagination. children have wild imaginations anywhere from invisible friends from playing princess and dragons in the back yard with nothing more then a couple objects. Our God is the ultimate creator and we are created in his image. We should and we must be creative and innovative another trait that somewhere along the line gets lost in the battle of our daily lives. Child like faith knows they are loved. Children have an ultimate dependcy on their parents and in times of trouble nad in times of true Joy they want nothing more to be with their parents. They know they are loved they know they are provided for and they know ultimately that is all they need.  We lose that heart so often with our heavenly faither we forget that is all we truly need. We either reject his love or we simply do not think that we can accept it. Or we get lost in doing our own thing and pride and "works" get in the way. We get so caught up sometimes what others think of us how the world views us, what we can and cant do, we think about whats next. Children live in the moments they are wild and free and dont care whats around them. One of the most fun things to watch is when child just gets out of the shower no shame no fear just freedom!. Will you choose to regain your heart of a child! reclaim your life! Wild and free who wouldnt want to be with THEE .

Ignorance is not bliss

I have a feeling that this one will ruffle some feathers but I am okay with that. There are so many people in this generation say well I just do not believe in Jesus. Here is my problem with that. Before you start thinking well it is their choice you cannot force your beliefs on them listen up first. I am not talking about theology here. So what am I talking about? History.

How many of you if someone approached you and said I do not believe in Abraham Lincoln, be honest here, would say you are stupid. I know I would and yes I know I shouldn't, sometimes I have a bad heart . How is this relevant? Jesus of Nazareth is a historical being, just as much so as Abraham Lincoln. It is not debateable. So when you tell me you do not beleive in Jesus. One of two things is happening, one you choose not to investigate, or two you choose to not beleive in Jesus the messiah. I have a problem with when people come to me and tell me I do not beleive in Jesus.  I think sometimes as a Church we even mislead with the idea of it takes faith to believe in Jesus. We can prove Jesus walked on this earth that does not take faith. What takes faith is beleiveing that this Jesus was God in human flesh and died on the cross so that we may recieve grace and have eternity with him. That is faith. Why does this matter?

 

I began to ask myself does this really even matter and I beleive it does. This is why I think it does matter. when we allow otehrs to pick and choose what they take as truth in this world and i am basing it soley historically right now then our whole world starts to fall apart. Their become no truths anywhere and thus there is no need for a saviour. The foundation of this starts asJesus the man. If we can get them to that place, we open the door to talk about Jesus the Messiah. Which then they have a choice to make to follow him or not to follow him. To make him Lord in your life or not to make him Lord in your life.  To get to a decision point we must first STAND STRONG in what cannot be argued and StAND STRONG in what is fact.  Then and only then will Jesus ever become relevant in a generation that chooses to beleive that their opinion is "fact" and that is okay. Start where your truth cant be disputed.

I won't back down

Well I wont back down, no I wont back down, you can stand me up at the gates of hello but I wont back down, I stand my ground I wont be turning around, I keep this world from dragging me around, I stand my ground. For some of you this is a song that you have heard by Tom Petty. For me it has recently it has beeome an anthem. It has become something that is planted so deeply into the core of my heart I am not sure that it will ever leave. For the first time in my life I think I am okay with that. See for me in previous seasons of my life I desired greatness, I wanted to battle but when it was time to Stand my Ground, I just could not do it. Some of it was weakness, some of it was ignorance, some of it was lack of discipline, there were several reasons. I desired to become great but some of those desires well most of them were so I could become great. I wanted to help others and change lives and I desired that so much but  I was not becoming radically obedient. So I truly could not step into others stories the way God designs because I was not capable of loving the way he wants. Unless I love through him I can't reach those places and unless I understand true love comes from obedience I couldnt step into his story like he desires. I am ready to battle I am ready to fight. It is not easy and sometimes the desire is not there. Sometimes  I fear because I have not conquered those areas how can I step up out further. See if I am not stepping forward I am stuck, when I am stuck I am content, when I am content I lose the fullness of my ability to Love through his eyes. See it takes a first step, then another, one step at a time. Sometimes we think if we take that step the whole world around us will change, it will get easier. I was obedient so now God will do the rest. It is not that simple, take a step, take another step before you know it, one step at a time, you have entered a whole new realm. That gets tricky for us because we have never been in those places before. The reality is the more steps we take the harder things will become. The forces that we are up against become greater. With more Power becomes more Responsibility. We must Stand our Ground! Allow God to be our fortress.

I truly believe that God has Spoken some very real promises into my life and has shown me a glimpse of what he has called me to. Psalm 27 David says " wait on the Lord, be strong and take heart, wait on the Lord". God made some very big promises to David throughout his life and there were seasons David had to wait on the Lord to make those things happen. Where we miss the mark is that sometimes we think waiting on the Lord means sitting. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! We must continue to take steps, one step at a time for God to direct us to those promises. Waiting on the Lord does not mean doing nothing or being content, in fact I think Like never before we should be pushing into obedience. Waiting on the Lord has to do with his timein, preparing us till we are READY. David waited on the Lord alright but he was still obedient at a very radical level. He in those times sought after the will of God like never before. He dove into the truths that God has for us. He continued to step forward and seek God! He stood his ground, he several times was staring at the gates of hell and stood his ground. The passion that he had for the Lord his heart to be a part of his story carried him through everything. STAND YOUR GROUND

Marriage: we have missed the mark

You do not have to look around for very long to see marriages failing everywhere. I am not just talking about outside the "Church" either, divorce rates are exploding everywhere. That does not even include the thousands and thousands of marriages that are dead, but remain together because of loyalty, a noble trait, but a dead marriage none-  the-less. So where have we went wrong? Where did we drop the

Where did we go wrong? To be honest there are so many places I could never cover them all so I/am not even going to try but there are several that burden my heart.  To start off marriage is a covenant not a contract. Marriage has to be more then a formal agreement, or just the next step in the scheme of life. This is happening all around us, it is destined for failure because it has a selfish mindset. A contract can be terminated if things arent going the way you planned, or if you are not happy or if you are not satisfied. Marriage is an oath it fights until it is absolutely beyond repair, which many say is the case. God hates divorce he makes no mistake about it in the bible. In fact there are only a few things where he says it is acceptable and even in these places he does not want us to give up without a fight. Sexual immorality or adultery I with my whole heart believe if yo u can fix it fix it, but if they wont change the lifestyle they made the choice, then that is whwn we are free there. So many of us say we fell out of love, we dont feel the connection, this just is not working. Corinthians 13 tells us love always perseveres and Love never fails, so are we truly Loving. We so easily get snared in the trap of selfishness and look at ourselves and how we could be happier. If only they did this, or that, or would help here, see the problem with that is it will never be enough.

My marriage is far from perfect. I can tell you one thing about my marriage, after being married nearly six years today it is stronger then ever. Everyday we battle. We make the choice we are going to fight for each other. We decided we no longer want to strive for a good marriage, we want a Godly marriage, one that leads by example. So it started with small practical steps become better friends, do things friends do, make sacrifices and do things they enjoy that you dont. Invest in the things that make them happy. Personally I made the decision to become Greater for her, so I can be the best husband I can be. Quit asking for a better spouse become the better spouse. Take the eyes off yourself. The thing about marriage you never get a day off, you cannot afford it. To much is at stake to much is on the line to get lazy. See marriage it is an oath. That day on the alter an oath was made to fight, in sickness and health for better or for worse. Especially in the worse battle fight, exhaust every option, then try again and again and again..... You get the drift?  When things are going well use the forward momentum run with go go go go. Go above and beyond its your time to get ahead of the curve. Put the effort in daily no no no hourly do what it takes. Pour out your heart love unconditionally, serve unconditionally, pray unconditionally, it cannot be ignored. Ya we have missed the mark, but it is not to late.

Battle tested.

There is no doubtEvery man desires an adventure. I have found mine and it is not going away. That is the true beauty of it, every day I can engage in this adventure. That means my life will never be BORING again. I am not going to lie it is so easy to step away, get lazy ad not put in the neccesary effort needed. If it were easy it would not be woth fighting for and it would not be an adventure worth stepping into. I made Jesus my ruler and my savior I accepted him into my heart. That is when my true adventure began.

This week for me personally was one of the greatest weeks I have ever experiencd amd also one of the tougest. Sure does not seem to make sense does it? I promise you it makes perfect sense. It was such a great week for me personally because I stepped into places "Spiritually" that I have never been. My eyes were opened to a new kind of love, a new burdens for his people, a new hunger for obedience, amd a new reverant awe for our Lord. So how could it be one of the toughest? Have you ever heard of the phrase "Mo money Mo problems"? As we get bigger as we learn more we have more responsibilties so naturally it gets tougher, but wait there is more. The moment we start to become a threat to the evil of the world the more we get attacked. The more the world and the flesh try to lie and manipulate us into going back to our old ways and patterns. They want to destroy us everywhere tear us down. That my friends is the battle. Once you step into a life of being Christ like you enter a battle an Adventure.

I am battled tested. I survived and I am strong because of it. we must stand in the truth that God prômises to never give us more then we can handle. God also says that in Mathew 5:10 says blessed are those who are persecuted because of rightousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". I can stand in the truth that as I battle as I am facing that opression, harrasment and distress; I will inherit the kingdom of heaven. ya I am battle tested and I am ready for the next round. My Story is simpky to give Glory to God's story

We have all played the part of Judas

This is the first blog where I have done anything like this. I am not going to lie I am super excited. It will be contraversial, but my goal is to make you think and ask what if? So when reading this keep that in mind.

Mathew 26:14 says, "Then one of the twelve--the one called Judas Iscariot-- went to the chief priests and asked, what are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you? So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver.From then on Judas watch for a chance to hand him over." Most of us read this text and think evil evil man, which is probably true but what if it is not that simple. What if it was a man that let where his heart was invested get out of control. It is easy to say money because he received the silver and is known as being the treasurer and was crooked at that. What if it is not that simple. It is debated why he is called Judas Iscarriot there are several debates here. I am going to just touch on one.it is well documented that through the scriptures there are zealots' which more or less, were a political activist group. A group that hated Roman control and wanted to drive them out of Judea. Why is this relevant? Some believe Judas was a sacarii which was a more violent group. So what if Judas being driven by hatred for the Romans thought he could kill to birds with one stone get money and start a riot a political revolution. See Judas npknew Jesus would be put on trial but the Jewish council did not have the power to really do anything. He knew only the Romans had that power. So what if he thought this would finally cause that revolt he so badly desired. Just a thought regardless the bottom line is his hearts desire drove him to evil.

To tell ourselves that we are any different that we are above that is foolish. The reality is we have all played the part of Judas. We have all forsake our Lord for a worldly desire. Our acts of selfishness and greed are just as guilty of nailing Jesus to the cross as Judas.Our hearts are often invested in the wrong places and we forsake obedience to satisfy our flesh. Is that really any different?

If I don't know then how do I go

We have all been at that place where we feel lost, confused or better yet stuck. We have no idea where to even begin. We desire for change and we want to break free. It is so easy to get wrapped up in yourself and look inward. Nothing good can come from this state of mind, infact the only real impact it does have is magnifying the problem.So what can we do? Dueteronomy 4:29 says ”but if from there you seek the Lord your God,you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Many of us desire for change so we cry out, we pray, we pray harder and we beg.I wonder if what God desires from us at that point is action some sort of effort forward. To truly dive into God not only in that area but everywhere.To truly seek him, to be obedient, to educate ourselves in obedience. To be honest with ourselves to come clean in our story. Then to seek God and what it looks like to conquer that area. To admit that you want and desire that change but don't know how, but to be truly burdened by the desire to obey. So that we may glorify him. Not so we feel better or so we can get it off our mind. So we can bring him the glory. To grind, battle and fight. To give it all that we have and do all that we know. Exhaust all your options. I can promise you one thing if you are seeking the Lord with all your heart and soul you will find him. When you find the Lord he will reveal himself to you and you will hear the promptings of the Spirit. When that happens you have two choices set yourself free or remain captive. The dictionary says when you seek you fight to obtain it. Will you fight?

Oh this is what it looks like

So this past weekend I was able to experience Godly community in a real way. I always thought it was so simple friends that know God, Godly community. Wrong! It is not a noun, it is a verb an action. It is something that needs to be intentional. It is something that does not always flow naturally., we have to teach ourselves. I believe there are different levels the outer rings, the rings then the core. The true core of community is so countercultural.It is never content, it pushes but in a loving way. It lifts others up, it affirms, strengthens, corrects and sometimes carries. It is also something that is mindfuland purposeful. It is headed somewhere it has a direction. It is safe, it comforts it fights for others. It burdens and carries burdens. It is a neccesity one cannot survive without it. Yes I have found my community and we will thrive. We will latch on to each other and move forward hand in hand to where God leads us. See our journeys are all different but it all ends at the same Stories. Yes I experience what it means to live life with others.

perfect driven passion

Im on lunch break and today I have been all sorts of fired up. I know God is working in my heart big time things are coming together. I am just blown away by the thought of obedience and how it coincides woth Love. The thing we must understabd is that obedience is not a to do list, obedience is our guidlines, our instructuons to the Father. Before we can totally understand taht we must Fear the Lord, we must have that reverant Awe. God is in total control and he created ne!!! He designed us so obedience is just doing what we are created for. Before we can love fully and jump into other peoples story, we must obey. God is Love and God says we cant love him outside of obedience. So to fully love others we must obey its clear and simple. That gets me excited because now every day there is something new, something to conqueor. There is always an oppurtunitu to show Love and glorify our Lord. When this perspective hits you the mundane no longer exists. So i now have my perdect driven passion. Love of obedience and obedience out of Love.

touch of heaven

Wow what a night. Simply amazing God blew any expectations I had out of the water. First of all I was so tired that i did not think i was going to physically be able to worship. Ya laugh it up but if you saw me worship this weekend or if you know me then it makes sense. I felt a tug on my heart and I decided to march on down there. Not only did Goe draw me closer then ever I felt a energy come on me that nakes no sense. I was pumped up and fired up beyond belief. During one of the songs i was still quiet abd clear. Just in awe then it it hit me. At that moment was a tatse of heaven. I was able to worship with no worries, doubts, fears, shame or guilt. I didnt have to impress i was just face to face with my Lord. I kmow it wont even compare to what eternity will be like. But for tonight I got a taste of heaven

oh what a night

Holy cow what a night. Everything about it was wonderful. The worship was outstanding, the message was great and the atmosphere was out of this world. I think what I am most excited about is our guys opening up afterwords at the hotel. It was so great even if just for half hour they were real and vulnerable. So what now? I can already see that God is moving and will continue to move. So how do we cultivate the hearts? When we get back home and step back into reality and the everyday grind how do we keep their passions going. How do we continue to stir and awaken their hearts. My cry? God show me the way. Give us the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in this area. Burdens our hearts so we cannot deny the truth and where you want us to be. Give us a clear cut vision. Thank you Jesus!!! Oh what a night!!

addict: aren't we all.

My name is Jeremy Wiemann I am an addict. I am not talking about drugs or alchohol or any sort of substance for that matter. I think if we are honest with ourselves we all have an addiction. We all have something that when the going gets tough and we lose sight of things above we turn to that. It might not even be a harmful act or a bad thing in itself. It is the heart behind it, it is the fact that we turn to it for a distraction to numb the pain. We all are fighting our flesh, so addictions as i call them will manifest itself in different areas, some people it is sports, shopping, lifting, television, chatting and whatever else. I thought it was something that i could conqueor something I could just get rid of, but once an addict your always an addict. I am not saying that you cannot become free, God can akways deliver us. What I am saying is we are still fleshly beings. We still will sin and turn to the flesh at times. Almost always we turn to the same place. So what do we do about it? First be honest with yourself where do you turn to? Second guard it protect it. I used to think it is in the weakest times of your life is when you needed to protect those things the most. I am starting to realize that is not the case. When we are doing well, when we are strong that is when that place is most vulnerable. To be honest it is also the time we can experience growth and move forward. We all have chinks in our armor. So naturally that is where satan will attack us to bring us down to make us fall. When we are strong it is so easy to get lax and to relax in those places. Stand firm identify it protect it. Let God heal you in those places. What do we turn to for comfort? Where do we go to numb the pain? What do we go to when we want to snap ourselves out of a funk? Have we elevated some of those things to a place they should not be? I am Jeremy Wieman and I am an ad

ATF

It has been awhile since I have written at all, i am just crazy busy. I know i know what a horrible excuse, I agree but I am here now. I am actually sitting on a bus on my way to Kansas city. We are heading to aquire the fire; a youth conference. Already the atmosphere is awesome, the kids are alive and excited. So many broken hearts and lives or on the other side boredom. You can see it in the eyes like a caged tiger. They long fir more they desire life and hope. I am excited for the kids more then anything i long for a spark, a small ah

a momentwhere they get a glimpse of the truth and the hope that awaits those who choose to step into it. You ask why not more why not just be so pumped for God that they do a complete 180. Maybe for some kids that happens but i just want a
a start. Some sort of movement to get the ball rolling. Then it is our job the job of the leaders to cultivate that spark. It is our job to empower them and turn it into a wildfire. To let God move and start something epic, a revolution. Where normal is not enough! Ya im excited so pumped to be here. To worship with thousands and thousands of people fist pumping getting crunk for christ. There is something about the freedom this age of kids have to just totally cut loose. Normal is not enough here we go!!

strength in weakness

This morning I cracked open my bible and I found myself at Psalm 40, little did I know my eyes were about to be opened in a new way. I do not know why this caught me off guard because in reality every time I intentionally enter the presence of the Lord my heart should always be moved, but that's a whole different topic in itself. So I found myself in the Psalms and I was okay with that, I always thought David(most likely the writer of Psalms) had it figured out. I never could identify what truly set him apart, after all God himself calls him a man after his own heart. Isn't that what we all truly desire to truly seek God's heart in a Holy way. Psalm 40 starts out " I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet om a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Right away I was drawn in, I love the realism and the raw truth that David shares from his heart. David never shied away from his weaknesses this is something I so admire.  I continued to read on verse 17 says "But as for me, I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; You are my God, do not delay." Boom it hit me. 

Something started grabbing my heart. The wheels were starting to turn and the light was coming on. David got it! Not only was David real and intimate with heart, he was intentional about vocalizing and being real with God. He desired a true friendship with God and he always dwelled in his presence even when he was struggling, no especially when he was struggling. David did not shy away from his brokenness and weaknesses. He understood that he was broken and he was weak.  He truly understood that a place of brokenness and dependability on God is not weakness, but rather ultimate humility and true strength. I wonder how often we try to run lives ourselves and then when its not doable we play the God card. Here you go God fix my life. Only when we realize outside of God nothing is possible can we truly experience life.  . True power is found when you realize and dive into the concept of dependability. When we step into this place there are no walls or barriers that you have put up, you are your own worst enemy. Once you realize you are broken and weak then you must rely on God to get you anywhere. It is in that place when you find true intimacy with our Lord, strength in weakness.

We must not get it

Sometimes I wonder if we truly even get it! Get what you ask our faith, Jesus, the Bible and the Holy Spirit. Because if we did we would be alive! If we did we would not be reserved we would believe stronger and bigger dreams. We would believe in ourselves and the ones around us. We might believe in a God we might understand some of it but we can't totally be getting it. Because we have become a dry dull generation. There is so much fire and passion in everything GOD!!!!! Ephesians 1:3 praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who was blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Are you reading this are you getting this? Every spiritual blessing! Ephesians1;19-21 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms. We have the spirit that rose Jesus from the dead!!!! The question becomes not what can we do what is there that we cannot do!!! step up step out. I am saying is it is not a suggestion, I am saying this is what you were created for!

Baffled by his Glory

I am sitting in the coffee shop studying the word preparing for a message. I am blown away by by his presence. I am starting to find out that if you are intentional about not only getting into the word but studying it and truly trying to let God speak, you will hear. It is not about something we were told to do, or a list of rules we need to follow to be complete. It is about our God the author of our faith investing in our life.He created us he knows our every need and desire, when he wrote the book it was directed at us. I just get this picture in my head of him thinking about you and me when God through the works of others put the bible together. It is personal, it is intimate, it is our LOVE letter from our Father. He knows how we work, how we function. So he gave us guidelines so we can live life in him and with him. Only till we experience these things can we truly do this. I feel that I am starting to get a glimpse of his Glory. A small insight of what he desires in our lives and the intimacy he longs for with us. As we enter into those things his voice almost becomes audible and you can almost sense his touch. I find myself writing notes and seeing things that I have never before experienced. It is like a light flipped on and all the sudden you can see. It gives you chills gives ya goosebumps, other times you feel as if you could jump out of your skin.  When we seek his Spirit and we desire true wisdom and revelation,so we can grow closer to him we align with his Spirit. For this moment for that second I got it. I experienced a flash of his glory, a small taste of the life he desires for us to live. So wont you today enter into his presence?

No Community No life

I have been a person that always has built my life around friendships and intimate relationships. The last couple months even more so then normal, but there is one small difference. My mindset has changed, it has flipped from inward to outward. Not that I was living a selfish life, I was just not living a life consumed by servant hood.I have always believed that no one can truly flourish outside their "community". Of course I need a community who else would pick me up, push me and help me grow? I am in a season of my life right now that God is changing my perspective.With all my heart I believe a life outside the community is not experiencing true life. I feel that God has enlightened the eyes of my heart and has given me a glimpse of what his community looks like. I have been able to take my eyes off myself and truly love. I need community in my life so that I have someone to share the LOVE of Christ with. There is NO joy in a life that is not pouring out. God is love, we are created in his image, we are created to love. Community was created for "US" not for me. We are one, with ONE common goal, Love wins so Love well.

Love wins so love well. What does that look like in our community? I do not think I have all the answers, but I do think there are some things we should all be doing. If you get the opportunity carry the burdens of your community. Trust me there is so much joy in this. Pray, Pray Hard. It is amazing what happens in your heart when you take your mind off yourself and lift up others in prayer throughout the entire day. Take interest, take part of their lives. The smallest thing when you are intentional in your purposes can go a long way. Serve, serve them and serve others with them. Love is a verb. Love takes action. God is love, so what it comes down to is LOVE WINS SO LOVE WELL.

knowledge is power

The start of the new year is upon us and I could not be more thrilled. What God has taught me in the last three or for months has been nothing short of amazing. The beauty of it all is I know I am only scratching the surface. I used to hate the term knowledge is power, i associated it with corruption, greed and politics.The last year I have started to understand just how true this is, but I am talking about a spiritual supernatural power. There are just things and places you cannot tap into if you do not know they exist. There are blessings you cannot grab ahold of if you do not know they are there. Ephesians 1 says we are blessd in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in christ Jesus." With knowledge comes wisdom and understanding. Once you are able to learn and come across these things and comprehend them you are able to activate. Once we learn how to do that and equip ourselves we bring so much POWER in our lives through Christ. The beauty of it is we have the ultimate study guide in the Bible, that is our workbook. Hod speaks to is tjroigh the bible we have the power at our fingertips. We must be willing to put in the time to read, meditate and study. When we do this true intimacy will come and we will align ourselves up with the Holy Spirit. Once we align ourselves with the Spirit we have the ability to tap into a endless Power. It no doubt also takes a certain supernatural revelation.I am so excited about what I have laerned and eben more excited for what i have yet to come across.I am not going to lie it also scares me to death because with that knowledge comes a whole new level of responsibility. Through the help and Grace of God i know i have nothing to fear. Knowledge is POWER but will you put in the time and effort to truly understand what God has for you?

one word resolution

I am sitting hear pondering my new years resolution and what i want for my heart in 2012 to be. First off I apologize for the rawness of this one I am writing it from my phone. Those of you that have seen my texting skills know this could get ugly. Back to the point. I kept thinking I want the attitude of my heart of my life to be "radical" i thought well there ya have it that is the resolution. I kept pondering and thinking and imagining what that looks like. There was something still unsettling. Being radical is great and and it is out of a pure desire but it does not sum it all up for me. I can be radical but where does that come from, how do i get it, what does it look like? Then it hit me. LOVE! Yup that sums it all up LOVE that one word if i could truly do that it would all come together. 2012 would truly be great. So much comes from that word when you Love well you carry the lords burdens, you take the eyes off yourself and put them onto others. In doing so you become great. When i LOVE well i am obedient, I am walking the path the Lord has written out for me and I am in tune with the Spirit. Again on the way I become great. God is Love God calls us to LOVE. So ya that sums it up for me LOVE. Change the world, the ones around you,your community. One step at a time. It is hard, it will be messy but I promise you it will be worth it, it will be beautiful. LOVE WINS so LOVE WELL.