Sweetly broken

So tonight my world got rocked but before I get into that let me give a little background. The last several weeks I have been striving to find what is next. Searching for that next step. Every opportunity I get I am meeting with others to gain knowledge and sticking my knows in a book to soak it all up. It has been a real teip. A new sense of peace, calmness joy and even genuine curiousity has came over my life. I really feel God tugging my heart to be mindful of those places where he wants to speak and where he wants to move mountains.I know there are places i need to get better and as I mature so has my desire for a deeper greatness in these places. So today my wife and I are running some errands and discussing some things and before I kmow it i am upset. I do not show it at first but it was brewing. Oir discussion quickly turned into an argument. I was heated and the door slammed i finished my errand . I entered into the car knowing ai couldnt take any of it back I felt shamed and emberrased. I said an apology and it was not recieved and oh boy did ai lose it. Ya it will cost me a new windshield. But tonight something beautiful happened. Beautiful? How can that be. Well one if the areas I have been working on is anger and shame. Ya obviously o failed miserably and fell so short andcyes a do over would be great. But there is progress steps are being made and I am growing. Even the process of repentance and moving forward and just dropping it right there. Not letting it consume me to yhe point where rage shame just takes over. No I will mot let it win. True growth happens in the orocess.See i think i should be at a certain place but I never make it there. Rwality is I cant make it therebecause as I grow and mature so does my desire for greatness. When I dont take joy in the process I get bitter, jealous and angry. Tonight I saw myself for who and what I am sweetly broken. I am fallen, I am broken and I am wounded but I am redeemed. It is in that redemption we find to strength. It is in those struggles we can stand firm in the truth that we are redeemed by Christ and nothing will take that away. Yes tonight my world was rocked for tonight I found JOY oin the process.