unbroken:The Christmas Story

This year Christmas has hit me in a knew way. There has not been some revelation of the true meaning of Christmas or this new found generous Spirit, but a deeper understanding of the story. A story that started far before the birth of Jesus. A story that prepared, pointed to, alligned, and constructed the purpose of his will. To that very day the birth of Jesus.

    The birth of Jesus is a story of so much sacrafice. A God who sent his son no longer in his Godly  but in flesh. He knew his son would experience so much pain, suffering, and sorrow. He knew there would be a day he would have to forsake his son.
Jesus had it all at the right hand of the creator of the universe. He stepped down knowing what some day would lie ahead. He stepped into a life of loss, torment, aches, pains, a life of so little. He gave up everything so we could have something.

    On that day a child was born. In a manger, in Bethlehem from the line of David, by a virgin. All the signs were there. All of history pointed to this moment. Israel... God's nation, his hand picked missed it, their king.. Why? They were looking for something else. Most of us would be broken. Thousands slaughtered, the King of the people (Herod) tormented the nation. The pain it must have caused God to look down on a nation that was so close, but yet so far away. We all would have been broken.

   Years later the  time has come to make your mark on the world. Jesus chooses his disciples, his followers his friends. For three years he pours out his life in teachings, healings, love, kindness, prayer and fasting. He most often was received with betrayel, arrogance, selfishness, stubborness cowardness, fear, and he was unwelcomed. We would have been broken.  The ones closest to him the light did not click till he was long gone. The very law he gave his people to give them freedom they used to bring his death. We would have been broken. The people you loved most were asked to have your back, to pray, to carry. The simple task swept away. We would have been broken.
The nation you prepared this moment for, who for months praised and cried out in wonder called out begged for the murderer to be released and you to be crucified. We would have been broken.  You are  calld to carry the hate, the harm, the pain of the world on your shouders and to do it alone. We would have been broken.

    The Christmas Story rings true everyday. Everyday we have a decision to make. Will I step into the story. Will I let my brokenness be mended. Will I choose to no longer be broken by the world. Will I choose to be lifted up surrounded And engulfed by God's love.  The Christmas Story isn't just a reminder it's an example. An example we are asked to follow. Follow a man that put aside his life to give us life. Will we forsake what the world trys to offer us and let complacency, greed, selfishness, pride and unforgivenness eventuallyl break us. Or will we stand in  a story that started long ago and has brought us to this moment. For we know the TRUTH and we know who are KING is and how the war ends. Are brokenness is forever mended. We are unbroken.

 Thank you for taking the time to read a little of what is on my heart. I more than welcome you to share, pass it on, leave comments. Ask questions and let it stir the soul. You are worth it.

Scandalous grace

       How do you even approach a topic like grace? To be honest I am far from qualified to do so, but I cannot deny that it has been a huge part of my journey as of late so with that I must share. Where do I even begin? I can find nothing better then to share some insight from C.S Lewis. "St. Augustine says 'God gives where he finds empty hands,' A man whose hands are full of parcels cannot receive a gift,"Grace, in other words must be recieved, Lews explains that what I have termed "grace abuse" stems from a confusion of condoning and forgiving : To condone an evil is simply to ignore it, to treat it as if it were good. But forgiveness needs to be accepted as well as offered if it is to be complete: and a man who admits no guilt can accept no forgiveness."  My biggest fear is that to often myself included in this is that we know God can forgive us, we know God uses murderers and crooks. So we move forward in sin acts that not only affect ourselves but devastate the relationships around us. Sin always causes collateral damage never does it only affect me. Sin separates and causes division in our relationship with our heavenly father. Phillip Yancy says in his book Whats so amazing about grace " Forgiveness is our problem, not God's. What we have to go through to commit sin distances us from God-- we change in the very act of revellion--and there is no guarantee we will ever come back. You ask me about forgiveness now , but will you even want it later, especially if it involves repentance?'

      What is my concern why do I fear where we are with our idea of Grace. I fear because and I have done so myself, that we have cheapened grace. That we use it as a safety net or a harness that keeps us from continually plummeting. Can it do those things? Absolutely, but if we are honest it can do exactly the opposite. That we ignore the pain that it causes our father, that we ignore the true damage that it does not only in our relationship with our father, but also within our community. There is a ripple effect when we extend grace and give it to to others as well as receive it, Great things happen transformation occurs and sweeps through our lives. A ripple effect also occurs when we refuse to see the damage it does to others or when we ignore that our decisions always affects others. We grab onto what we believe is grace but in reality it is not, all it is is a cheapened version that we have accumulated in our minds and our hearts. We continue to live a life that we think is leading us to freedom, but instead we are trapping ourselves in habbits that lead to bondage. Because grace becomes a cure for us instead of a loving action that burried our sins and carried its weight for us. Somehow we pervert grace into a fix it ticket that wipes away our continued selfish desires. Desires to fulfill a longing deep inside us, but instead of turning to the life jesus desires and created for us we turn to other things. Grace does all that but you cannot experience grace without a desire to truly experience the heart of Jesus. Without a cry of your heart to be reunited with his passion and love.  When our hands our firmly grasped and hold onto what we want we cannot receive what God wants to give us. Because we have decided our way is best and minimized what God has done.

     What is grace? How do I know it is grace? I do not know how to define it but I do know what it produces and what it creates. By Gods grace through faith we receive salvation. Grace brings about transformation and lets his power rest upon us. Grace helps us receive his love which flows out of our heat freely which transforms not only my heart but ultimately the heart of those around us. Grace builds us up and brings about the obedience of faith for the sake of our Lord to be proclaimed to all nations. Grace from above restores, confirms, strengthens and establishes us. Grace moves us to rejoice in the hope of the Glory of our God. ( references from the bible)

     I long to every day get another glimpse of understanding grace. With intentionality I have received joy I have never experienced before, because I feel my heart has been unlocked in new ways. I am able to love better  than I ever have before. I am able to latch on to the love that God has for me. I am able to deepen my longing my desire to walk with Christ. I am able to be removed from the muck of daily struggles and find hope in what God has done for me. Dive into the journey with me. What if we allowed our hearts to be changed and transformed everyday not just for ourselves, but for those around us. In a complete and selfless desperation for others to experience the joy we are now experiencing. So ultimately our God can be glorified. For that is when we become truly alive.


  Thank you for taking the time to read. I would love if you comment or share via facebook or twitter. I love you and what God is going to do in you.

sometimes words arent needed

       This past week I have had the privilege to be a part of a team that will bring clean water to a village in Haiti. On the way to doing a side maintenance fix on a well ,that had not working for 1 and a half years, we stopped at a church. As I was eating my lunch I could not stop looking at the front of the church. Which usually might not be that abnormal, but this church was nothing special and if I am honest not that appeasing to the eye. I just started and let my mind be still. I knew something was brewing in my heart. I scarfed my sandwich and headed to the front of the church and just sat. I knew this is where I was created to be the church. I knew right then right there I was where I was supposed to be. I felt awkward, fearful, doubt started to creep into my mind. I had no choice but to fight it, I knew this was a special moment. I started to pray, cry out and give thanks to what had brought me to where I am now.

       Here I am in complete silence and  at times prayer, Goodebumps began to take over my body , my legs were shaking.  Someone plops right down next to me. This someone wasn't a stranger but a friend. We have had many differences and in many ways the friendship has subsided(this is not the Point, or in any way to draw I away from how great they are).There I was sitting and there they were sitting not saying a word. Complete silence had filled up my section. All I knew was this world needs "the Church" and they knew it also.

  They knew my desires, my passions, my longings my shortcomings they knew my heart. So they sat. They sat despite the differences, the unsaid, the sands, the pain the hurt and the shortcomings. They decided they would just be. As if to say I know and I'm here. As if to say No one else gets it right now but I do. They took a step and in that step they showed a love I had never experienced before. The thing is they didn't needed to say anything. Their presence was enough. Their willingness to hear my passions and know my desires was enough. Their willingness to set anything else aside and just be present was enough. To be present means she had already took the time in the past to stand with me.

      We do not always have to have the right words. In fact sometimes we do not need to say anything at all. What we need is to invest to truly know the heart. When we do this we will seize the opportunities to impact lives, and give life . They decided to take a step and it is one that will forever be in heart. Will you choose to love like this?

Jeremy

love: a feeling just isn't good enough

Growing up I wanted nothing more than to find this fairy tale love. A love that continues to deepen and grow. A feeling that would continue to deepen and carry me through their difficult times.  I knew there was tough times but in my mind this love I was looking for would make all that worth it. I now know I was searching for the wrong thing, what I was looking for wasnt love. See love is far more than a feeling, in fact I am not even sure I believe love is ever a feeling. Because what Happens when you don't feel it? Even the thought of love is selfless, unselfish abs holds pure motives. The thought of it being a feeling in itself is selfish. We somehow make it about how I feel how I respond to you. There are attractions and longings that direct us to others. What do we do when it must move beyond that?  What do we do when we are in a friendship or marriage that is struggling to get past outer she'll or three deeper layer we cannot quite peel back. What do I do when I do not feel like it or do not desire to put more into it?

       Love is not a feeling so what is it? How do we deepen it? How can we begin to understand? I myself cannot fully answer that question.  But I know we must do. I know when we don't feel like it is thee most important time to labor and step into it. Why?  Because it is in those times we start to learn how to shatter our selfish hearts and let them be rebulit and live outside of me. I used to think I wanted the feeling to grow now I long for my understating of love to grow. I long for as I do grows into a understanding, that these things are necessities to my relationships And to my marriage.  It  is in the doing that gives those things life and where I ultimately will experience true joy. The only way we get to truly step into real love is by acting on it and doing over and over and over again .  Especially when it is beyond our understanding and comprehension does it become importjant to grind it out. As our understanding grows so does our desire to serve and live for them. So does the freedom to live, laugh and play. The biggest freedom we will ever experience in love is one that is not orchestrated and directed by what I "feel" .  As we step into it before long you look around and realize you are in a whole different level that you have ever experienced. We must be creative, intentional and purposeful in the relationships we are in . It will not be easy to know what "doing" looks like but we have no real other choice, because until we are truly willing to do we cannot truly love. Take a step into their journey daily one step at a time redefine what love truly is.

Would love to have you share n you heart and burden by passing it on a re tweet or a share. Thank you

When it doesnt makes sense: the heart and the mind don't mesh

We all have those moments where life is too trying,  blah, confusing, burdensome, weary, impossible, heavy or heck maybe even all of the above.  You know when the sun seems to cloud over,  when  anger builds, shame mounts, hope fades, doubt lingers and you seem to lose your reason to sing and your belief someone is there holding you.  You cannot explain it or even begin to put it into words. You just know you are not where you used to be,  you don't feel how you used to feel and you definitely don't sing how you used to.  The heart doesn't trust what the head knows as true. You feel so trapped in a wheel of guilt,  judgement, and obedience. You feel this separation from the heart , from a relationship you don't feel. The more you try the heavier it gets. To the point where you just  don't even take the every day steps you are so accustomed to. What used to be so enjoyable becomes so burdensome. So you are stuck in  an entangled mess. You know you need to take steps of obedience but that seems to distance us from  love, from a relationship. So we sit,  we cry out and we wait. This go around time does not heal , in fact it seems it does the opposite you feel life slipping. You grab out with all you have but the problem is you are not even sure what you are grabbing on to.   So what do we do? We do the only thing we can do.

      What must we do?Trust me this isn't tone of demands but of desperation and of loving. James 1:5-6, 24 ESV

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.


     We shout out, we beg, cry out, humble ourselves and lift up our creator by asking for help. We admit where we are no sugar coating, no masks, no excuses just authenticity. We pull ourselves up and just do. We do not understand it. We don't want to take the steps but we just do. Even though the word "do" seems so heavy. It seems so dead, so lifeless, so unfriendly and so far from love. . James 1:22 ESV

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
  We do because we no longer want to doubt, we want that faith, that love . We just do because we know this is where our lives are. We ask for wisdom as we take each step. We ask for revelation in hopes we find our reason to sing. We ask to feel. We ask how doing and feeling work together. How Love and obedience mesh.


    It is never an easy road for us it is imperfect, painful, messy, hard and takes a lot of work. We must do it. Not for ourselves not to become better christains, or a ticket to draw closer to God.  We do it for others . We do it to love, to experience love and to give love freely and share with those around us our hearts. We fight, walk out our journey and experience so others may have life. In the process some how some way it becomes beautiful, we grow, we laugh, we enjoy. We give others a reason to sing and some how through the mess we find our reason to sing. " It's his breath in our lungs so we pour out our praise. "