We all have those moments where life is too trying, blah, confusing, burdensome, weary, impossible, heavy or heck maybe even all of the above. You know when the sun seems to cloud over, when anger builds, shame mounts, hope fades, doubt lingers and you seem to lose your reason to sing and your belief someone is there holding you. You cannot explain it or even begin to put it into words. You just know you are not where you used to be, you don't feel how you used to feel and you definitely don't sing how you used to. The heart doesn't trust what the head knows as true. You feel so trapped in a wheel of guilt, judgement, and obedience. You feel this separation from the heart , from a relationship you don't feel. The more you try the heavier it gets. To the point where you just don't even take the every day steps you are so accustomed to. What used to be so enjoyable becomes so burdensome. So you are stuck in an entangled mess. You know you need to take steps of obedience but that seems to distance us from love, from a relationship. So we sit, we cry out and we wait. This go around time does not heal , in fact it seems it does the opposite you feel life slipping. You grab out with all you have but the problem is you are not even sure what you are grabbing on to. So what do we do? We do the only thing we can do.
What must we do?Trust me this isn't tone of demands but of desperation and of loving. James 1:5-6, 24 ESV
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.
We shout out, we beg, cry out, humble ourselves and lift up our creator by asking for help. We admit where we are no sugar coating, no masks, no excuses just authenticity. We pull ourselves up and just do. We do not understand it. We don't want to take the steps but we just do. Even though the word "do" seems so heavy. It seems so dead, so lifeless, so unfriendly and so far from love. . James 1:22 ESV
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
We do because we no longer want to doubt, we want that faith, that love . We just do because we know this is where our lives are. We ask for wisdom as we take each step. We ask for revelation in hopes we find our reason to sing. We ask to feel. We ask how doing and feeling work together. How Love and obedience mesh.
It is never an easy road for us it is imperfect, painful, messy, hard and takes a lot of work. We must do it. Not for ourselves not to become better christains, or a ticket to draw closer to God. We do it for others . We do it to love, to experience love and to give love freely and share with those around us our hearts. We fight, walk out our journey and experience so others may have life. In the process some how some way it becomes beautiful, we grow, we laugh, we enjoy. We give others a reason to sing and some how through the mess we find our reason to sing. " It's his breath in our lungs so we pour out our praise. "
